Jokistan

How do you know if there is an elephant in the pool?
You see round slippers by the pool.

How does an elephant hide in a field of strawberries?
It puts on red nail polish.

The Pope, GW Bush, and a kid are in on a private jet. The plane is
crashing and the two pilots jump out quickly. There are two
parachutes left. GW is scared. He quickly takes one and says I'm
American and I get what I want. He jumps out. The Pope looks at the
kid and says, "kid, you are young... I want you to live. You take the
last parachute". The kid says "don't worry man, he jumped out with my
back pack".

A tork, german, and italian are getting executed one at a time. The
german goes up. When they are ready to shoot him, he screams
earthquake. There is a bit of confusion and he manages to escape.
The Italian goes up. He yells flood, everyone panics, and he manges
to escape. The tork goes up. And he screams fire!

An engineer is describing this story to another engineer friend. One
day he sees a beautiful girl riding her bike. He quickly notices that
a car is going to hit her. He jumps in and stops the accident. And
luckily he doesn't get hurt. She is touched by this, takes off all
her clothes and says 'take anything you want'. He's confused for a
while and finally decides to take her bike. When he finishes
telling this story to his engineer friend, his friend says "that was
the right thing, her clothes would not have worked for you".